Thursday, January 05, 2006

Results of forwarding chain emails!!!

Smile. Have you ever noticed how easily puppies make human friends? Yet all they do is wag their tails and fall over. ~Walter Anderson

I always had the guilty feeling whether to forward an email or not....

This one made me smile and I am not forwarding it, but just putting it on my blog.

Subject: ThanksMy heartfelt appreciation goes out to all of you who have taken the time and trouble to send me "forwards" over the past 12 months.Thank you for making me feel safe, secure, blessed and healthy.

Extra thanks to whoever sent me the email about rat crap in the glue on envelopes - because I now get a wet towel every time I need to seal an envelope.
Also, I scrub the top of every can I open for the same reason.
Because of your genuine concern, I no longer drink Coca Cola because I know it can remove toilet stains, which is not exactly an appealing characteristic.
I no longer check the coin return on pay phones because I could be pricked with a needle infected with AIDS. Which is the same reason I no longer go to the pictures just in case I get jabbed with an Aids infected needle planted in the seat.
I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a water buffalo on a hot day.
I no longer go to shopping malls because someone might drug me with a perfume sample and rob me.
I no longer eat KFC because their "chickens" are actually horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers.
I no longer worry about my soul because at last count, I have 6,363,214 angels looking out for me.
Thanks to you, I have learned that God only answers my prayers if I forward an e-mail to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes. This one especially must be true because apparently the Dalai Lama believes it also.
I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl on the internet who is about to die in the hospital (for the 1,387,258th time).
I no longer have any money at all in fact - but that will change once I receive the $15,000 that Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in their special on-line email program, and or the 256 Million US dollars being held in a Nigerian Bank under my name, and the 86 Million Euros I've recently won in a lottery somewhere.Yes, I want to thank you all so much for looking out for me that I will now return the favour! If you don't send this e-mail to at least 144,000 people in the next 7minutes, send me your Bank account details so I can share in the aforementioned winnings I am anticipating, make 22 wishes, (none are to be the same), a deformed mutant pigeon with a wicked case of diahorrea will land on your head at 5:00 PM (EST) this afternoon.I know this can occur because apparently it actually happened to a friend of my next door neighbor's ex-mother-in-law's second husband's cousin's beautician, twice removed on her Father's Uncle's Cousin's side.


And have a nice day!

Let me know your opinions about forwarding emails


Blogger Iris said...

Nice quote:)

Blogger smiley said...

Iris, Thanks. Maybe if I had a tail I would have been more friendly?


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